Prayers for Our Boys, Power for Our Girls: The Imbalance in Black Empowerment
- thetalented10thent
- Mar 21
- 4 min read
In the African American community, we have long embraced a dynamic where we empower our girls while praying for our boys. It’s evident in the way we celebrate Black girl magic through movements like Black Girls Rock!, which uplift and affirm Black women’s beauty, intelligence, and strength. Meanwhile, our boys are the subjects of solemn prayers for protection, as they have become the face of brutality and early death.
This contrast is reflected in music and pop culture. We see female artists like Beyoncé commanding self-love and ownership in “Flawless” and “Run the World (Girls),” while rappers like Kendrick Lamar lament the struggles of Black men in “Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst.” Even Tupac, decades ago, embodied this reality, celebrating women in “Keep Ya Head Up” while pleading for his own survival in “Lord Knows.”
But what happens when one group is empowered while the other is only shielded? Over time, this has created a deep imbalance in Black communities—Black women have been nurtured into confidence, resilience, and success, while Black men have been cast as victims in perpetual need of saving.
The Rise of the Red Pill & the Resentment Between Black Men and Women
The result? A gender divide that is now playing out in real-time in mainstream culture. Many Black men, having never been taught that their Blackness is beautiful or given self-empowerment teachings, have grown resentful of Black women’s rise. The lack of positive affirmation for Black masculinity has left a void, one that has been filled by the toxic philosophies of the Red Pill movement.
The Red Pill—a reference to The Matrix in which Neo takes a pill to awaken to a harsh reality—has been co-opted by certain Black male influencers as “proof” that men are actually the real victims in today’s society. Figures like Kevin Samuels and the Fresh & Fit podcast duo built platforms blaming Black women for the so-called decline of modern relationships. Others, like Andrew and Tristan Tate (associates of Ye), have peddled misogynistic ideologies that prey on men’s insecurities. These men claim to offer “truths” about gender roles, but in reality, they are profiting from pain, convincing Black men that they have no power in a world that has supposedly been overrun by women.
As Black women have continued to thrive—shattering glass ceilings, redefining beauty, and owning their narratives—many Black men have been left without a blueprint for their own success. This dynamic has bred bitterness, manifesting in social media battles, toxic relationships, and a music industry filled with hostility rather than love.
No Love in the Art, Just Pain and Power Struggles
Hip-hop, once a space for storytelling and unity, now mirrors this gender war. There is little love in today’s mainstream rap—just hypersexuality, emotional unavailability, violence, and pain. Relationships in music have become transactional; gone are the days of JAY-Z and Beyoncé’s “Bonnie & Clyde 03” or Method Man and Mary J. Blige’s “I’ll Be There for You.” Instead, we get Future’s toxic anthems, Drake’s petty heartbreak bars, and the seemingly never-ending back-and-forth between Megan Thee Stallion and Tory Lanez.
Even R&B, the genre that once defined Black love, has shifted. SZA and Summer Walker sing about distrust and disappointment, while Brent Faiyaz romanticizes toxicity. The vulnerability that once defined Black male artistry—think Jodeci, Usher, even early Kanye—has been replaced by apathy and detachment. The art reflects the wounds.
A History of Brokenness: Slavery, Reconstruction, and the War on Drugs
To truly understand this divide, we have to acknowledge its roots. Black men and women have always been placed at odds with each other by design.
• Slavery: Enslaved Black men were stripped of their ability to protect and provide for their families, while Black women were forced to be both caretakers and survivors.
• Reconstruction & Jim Crow: Black businesses and communities that empowered Black men were burned to the ground (Tulsa, Rosewood, Wilmington), keeping wealth and stability out of reach.
• The War on Drugs: Mass incarceration removed Black fathers from homes, leaving many boys to grow up without examples of healthy masculinity.
This cycle of destruction has made it nearly impossible for Black men to see themselves as strong, empowered figures in their own right. Meanwhile, Black women have been forced into resilience—so much so that many now struggle to relate to men who seem lost in victimhood.
Breaking the Cycle: Both Boys and Girls Need Empowerment
The truth is, both our boys and girls need protection and empowerment. Boys need to be affirmed in their strength and potential just as much as girls need to be told they are beautiful and capable. The solution isn’t to take power away from Black women but to restore power to Black men in a way that isn’t rooted in misogyny, but in love, leadership, and self-worth.
When we heal our individual and collective traumas, the need for constant debates about gender roles, 50/50 relationships, and submission will fade. Because when two whole, healed people come together, those conversations become irrelevant.
Will this happen in our lifetime? Probably not. But in the words of Randy Watson and Whitney Houston:
“I believe the children are the future.”
They may be inheriting a mess, but if we do the work now, they gon’ be alright.
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